White coat. Heels.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
