So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
A+ Viking dick
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
