yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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