His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize