He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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