this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
