OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
