I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
