Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
