How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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