Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
