what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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