I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Sober January is a disaster.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I smell like Dick and happiness
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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