i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
