my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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