In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
