There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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