i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Randomize
