Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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