i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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