just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
