I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
