i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
