I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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