I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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