Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
