We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
