found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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