so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize