plz talk dirty to me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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