so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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