I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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