does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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