he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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