so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
