she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Every concussion has its silver lining
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
