Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
