I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
