a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Couch. On fire.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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