I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can you repeat that, but with context?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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