I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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