i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
