GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
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