yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
