so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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