The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
