At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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