yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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