i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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