we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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