Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
