You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
