My brain says no but my pants say off.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
