its not stalking. its research.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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