It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
