well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
