Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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