I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize