Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
