Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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